An Intelligent Birthday

June 21, 2011
The Waldorf Hotel
Vancouver, British Columbia

I arrived at the Waldorf Hotel for the Intelligence plus guests at 9:15 pm on Tuesday night. The show was scheduled to start at 9:30, but knowing how late it took for anyone to show up there for Wildbirds & Peacedrums (a considerably better-known band than the Intelligence, and that's not saying much, as Wildbirds aren't very well-known), I figured I could cut it pretty closely. Boy, was I incorrect.

I thought Wildbirds & Peacedrums' opening band Therapies Son played in front of a small crowd: the Intelligence's first opener Manic Attracts didn't even start until almost 10:30, likely because by the time Manic Attracts were scheduled start, only I and two other people had shown up. By the time Manic Attracts did start though, the crowd had more than DOUBLED from three to seven, not counting the venue staff. It wasn't until the second opening band started that I realized that four of the other six people were in a band themselves: Sex Church, the evening's second opening band.

Enough about the attendance figures though. So, how was the actual music? Well, I often really like screaming and noise, but Manic Attracts' music had absolutely no other attributes: no rhythm, no melody, no technicality and no discernible lyrics except (I kid you not) "suicide." Sorry, it was more like, "SUUII-CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As I began to question whether or not the Intelligence was worth enduring such an offensive aural assault, the thirteen-plus dollars I'd spent on the show and the five-dollar round-trip bus-fare, I wondered what had happened to the sinister blues-lines that Manic Attracts had spewed during their sound-check.

After some length of time (I don't recall how long; I lost my sense of time after I became convinced I'd died and gone to Hell), Manic Attracts finished their set, and the spacey punk quartet Sex Church took the stage. I didn't expect two openers that night; I already had to wait over an hour for Manic Attracts to start; and I knew I'd have to sit through a third sound-check after Sex Church, so I'd gotten pretty annoyed by that point.

Well, merciful Heavens! Sex Church wasn't bad - but not very interesting either. I was just thankful they weren't a pain to sit through, unlike Manic Attracts. Before I knew it, Sex Church had finished up, and it was on to the main event.

The next thirty-or-so minutes totally made up for the previous three hours. The Intelligence's angular, keyboard-loaded fun-punk (they have a lyrical and vocal quirkiness about them) was the perfect remedy for the toxic combination of Manic Attracts and Sex Church. The Intelligence ripped through most of their latest album Males (In the Red, 2010), a few songs from their other albums and a new track the title of which, if front-man Lars Finberg even announced it, I don't recall.

I was happy and even surprised by the Intelligence's set list because they have seven albums, six of which I hadn't heard by the night of the show. I'd expected the Intelligence to have played more songs with which I was unfamiliar, especially since I didn't think the Intelligence would still have been promoting Males. Anyway, even the songs with which I was unfamiliar were great.

By the time the Intelligence started to play, the place did fill up quite a bit (more): I'd estimate about forty people at most, mostly standing pretty still underneath a totally unnecessary disco ball (really? A disco ball at a punk/screamcore show?). That was too bad (people standing still, not the disco ball): there were a good few of us near the front who were rocking out. That would have been a lot more fun if we weren't all so scattered. Most into the music was a fifties-ish-year-old man whom the Intelligence identified as "Wolfgang" and thanked for having shown up. He was dressed exactly the way one might imagine a band's manager or some other aging guy who is "with the band" in some ambiguous capacity would be dressed. Wolfgang was fun to watch: it was almost like looking at my future self. Actually, I think that almost every time I see an older person at a concert.

My only minor complaint about the Intelligence's show was that they introduced most of their songs before they played them. In this context (rather than, say, finding out there are not one but two opening bands and that both are either terrible or a complete bore), I prefer being surprised.

All in all, long waits, mediocre-to-bad openers and more openers than expected aside, having been at the Intelligence as the clock struck midnight was a great way to start my birthday.